every beat of my heart

Monday, March 31, 2008

guess wad

i almost got into a state of panic cuz registration ends tmr and just now i haven sent in my documents neither have i made payment!!! :D but fret not cuz everything's done le (: my mum paid for me and i faxed my documents over to NUS. see thank God i'm still working this week so i get to use the fax machine :p

seriously if i get into medicine it's really gonna be a blessing in disguise! so it isnt that bad afterall.. randomness.. well!! trusting God for the best plan He has for me! (:

aye (:
AILIN!! (:
CONGRATULATIONS!!!
i'm really happy for you and really proud of you! (: you're so gonna be my role model of persistence and faith (: after weeks of asking and weeks of getting scolded and ticked off, you never gave up no matter how discouraged you got.! and now, your persistence has paid ofF! (: YOU'RE GONNA GO FOR SOT AND BE MY CLASSMATE!! (: cool! (: I'M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THE NEXT 5MONTHS TOGETHER! (: and guess wad. i love talking to you too. i never get a chance to have girl talks until i met you. I LOVE YOU TO BITS AND PIECES! (:

little in the master's hand becomes much! (:

aye shoutout to nicco too!! wahaha :p i know you'll see this somehow :D HELLO! :p

*throbs @09:37
0 <3

Friday, March 28, 2008

uni courses applied!

wahaha

and so i thought today was my last day of work.
seems like i'm gonna be extended for another one week.
OH WELL (: i hope they pay cash for the next few days extra! :p

anyways.
i got into SOT.
and i managed to get my dad to sign the water baptism form for me.

I AM GETTING WATER BAPTISED!!! (:

yay (:

okay as request (:
i applied for NTU and NUS only :p

NTU:
1. Psychology
2. Bsc Edu(Sc)
3. Chem and Biochem
4. Business
5. Maritime Studies

NUS:
1. Faculty of Arts and Social Science
2. Faculty of Science
3. Industrial Design
4. Medicine
5. Project and Facilities Management
6. Business Admin
7. Architecture
8. Dentistry

haha. i know my NUS courses are like super random cuz they were meant to be random :p aye!

*throbs @14:53
0 <3

Thursday, March 27, 2008

believe in yourself, you can make things happen.

God surely has His own special way of speaking to us.
He made me walk past the postcard stand and pick up this very cute postcard. there was a star on it. and when i picked it up,

"Believe in yourself, you can make things happen"

it was juz seconds ago i was juz debating with myself. or rather debating within myself with God.
faith vs. fear
when faith and fear collides.. your head knows you have to stand in faith, not be shaken nor swayed in your foundations. but yet your heart knows you have fear. fear of failing again, fear of making things go awray.

greater is He that's in me.

because i have Him in ME

Believe in yourself, you can make things happen.! (:

*throbs @13:56
0 <3

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

sot! (:

I GOT INTO SOT!!! (:

7APRIL REPORTING 8AM AT JW FOR BRIEFING AND THEN IT'S ORIENTATION AT 11AM!! (:

bk says to bring a street directory. i tink i should. ha ha x)
i didnt need to go for interview!!! AMEN! (: and even though i made my payment late. i received that phone call in like about 6hours later x) yay! (: praise God! (:

God still made a way for a forgetful me.

He WILL continue to do so later in the year!
2months of clash in local uni.
BUT GOD saves the day. He always will.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SZE GAY! (:

*throbs @08:52
0 <3

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

philosophical

It is the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance.
It is the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance.
It is the one who won't be taken who cannot seem to give.
And the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live.

i cant stand myself.
getting so philosophical.
haha.

BLAME MR HAPPY! :D

maybe i always wanted to be philosophical..
maybe i should go apply for philosophy :p

submitted my NTU application!! (: couldnt do the NUS one because i forgot a PIN no. iz needed. and it's chucked somewhere in my stack of papers strewn all over my table. oh well!

THINGS TO DO:
1) application for NUS
2) appraisal
3) follow up with SOT
4) meet my ahs girls
5) arrange lots of other meetings...

roar.
outing on friday was fun (: ice cream chef. i like that place. shall go back there again often! (: and camwhoreing iz always fun. like DUh! x) many many random crazy photos and erm haha at the toilet. :p took like so long that the guys thought we got lost. haha x) times with trackers are always lovely times.

saturday went to see climb asia. bouldering. well actually went to support gay and allen but they didnt exactly need it. haha. took a few random shots but i'm lazy to send it over to them. so yeah.. sorry! :D

sunday back to routine sumday. grandma's house. haha. it's been 3weeks since i went there already and THREE frigging weeks since i last had my grocery shopping (: and so it's stocked up! my lovely food stock contains 2boxes of honey stars (which i have already finished one) and biscuits and mints. yeah. too bad my mum didnt let me buy ice cream. roar.

easter was fun (: the drama was nice. watched only one outta the two though but aye the company was well enjoyable. i conclude that watching it too many times does not make it 'gelat' but it juz kinda irritating cuz you know what happens next, what will be said next and most of all when to laugh next. bleh. some part of it was disappointing but the rest of it was enjoyed. mama came. next time i'm going for easter hunt during easter. and i'm so gonna eat all the chocolate eggs. kinder surprise would be nice :p

*throbs @10:32
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Tuesday, March 18, 2008

poly students go away!

roar ):

upon reading the newspapers, it's downheartening ):

of all years, why must the dragon baby poly students fighting with JC students for positions into universities this year?! ): the numbers that have risen by so much!!!! ): 2000 for NTU and NUS a 4figure jump as well. ): and guess wad. hot courses amongst them are ARTS AND SOCIAL SCIENCE, (jud)project facilities management and i tink there's still one more but i cant rem. ya ):

what's the big deal with being a dragon baby!!! ): you're still a snake with limbs that's all wad ): BOO.

now that really slims down more chances. guess i'll stick to plan to go overseas? nah i'll juz go apply. have fun and pray for the best. juz like how i juz applied for TJ appeal. i got it anyhow.

ROAR!

anyway to update ppl like chuanli :D
NUS FASS does not have direct admission to the course you want. first year you'll be taking random modules from all over Arts, den after that do you get to apply for say psychology. well at the end of the day, if you do get it good for you, otherwise you'll end up finishing uni at NUS with some random degree specialization that you might not have an interest at all. so ya. there you go! (:

*throbs @14:48
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Monday, March 17, 2008

XPHYSIQUE!

woowheeee (:

haha.
as my facebook profile says,
Natalia iz aching but really enjoyed her XPHYSIQUE experience!

well i'd say if i was some rich bloke i'd take part in more of these kinda activites (: although apparantly they said this year isnt as fun as last year and i totally agree that there was too much running involved.. but hey! i enjoyed this experience and there's always a first time in everything (: like the first time i actually abseiled (: yay

started the race off with running, den a very long canoeing circuit which kinda killed everyone right at the start, den run again to some ulu lorong halus for orienteering with our professional recree officer :D den run again to bedok reservoir play some rope element which i tink i sucked at for falling off more than once :p den run again to ITE CE for abseiling which was kinda fun though i crashed into the ledge x) and for once i climbed over gateS to get outta a place! :D we climbed our way outta CE :p walking now we headed for the tampines bike trail. cycled on stony, muddy but kinda flat ground, cycled to aloha and around and ran back to finishing line. done. doesnt sound alot right? but it took 5hours and half. o.O beat that. 30km of everything. phew (:

okay although we didnt win top3 but i tink we should have at least top5 or definitely top10. guys, dun feel disappointed for not winning even though we had to pay like half a hundred to enter the race. :D although i know there werent any climbing involved and you guys were like all looking forward to it (expecpt me cuz i dunno how to climb) but well, we completed it and we never gave up nor cheated! cheers to that! (:

dinnered at ikea after that.. the guys all kinda gorged down their food :D hungry ppl. den szegay sent me home (: thanks! came home, washed my shoe from all its mud, my clothes as well and tada! slept :p the day ended with a bruise on my knee due to unknown causes, internal blood clot due to the sand on my knee pressing against the canoe, bruises between my thumb and index due to the canoeing, abrasion that cause two blisters at my ankle, cuts, and rope burns :p fun.

back to a more serious note,
i'm still undecided on what to move on to next. sigh!
i dun tink i'll be going to NUS Arts that's for sure.
NTU psy? NUS sci? hmmm.

and i cannot find my frigging results slip.

AH!

*throbs @10:46
0 <3

Friday, March 14, 2008

outing with serene!( :

yesterday i got drunk on plain water :D

okay. we always have crazy fun everytime we go out (: love it this way. laughing out loud seriously like noone's around (: so many things to say, so many dreams to share. thanks serene for the lovely card and the sweets and the very happy moments (:

i want the photos k! (:

ALL THE SWEET TOOTH PEOPLE OUT THERE!
by serene's recommendation,
i've found the PERFECT place for desserts after 9pm (: one thing it's half price. the second thing iz it's ITALIAN! (: never dined italian before. juz feel like trying italian and all other different kinds of cuisine next time.. anyway back to the point. yupp! (: had lovely desserts at RICOTTI! (: sofiato iz their specialty and it's seriously like chocolate fudge with ice cream (:

ooo yay cant wait to go out with my dearest twin again soon.
even though everytime we go out we eat until we get so bloated :D
LOVES~! send me the photos k! (:

*throbs @09:34
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Thursday, March 13, 2008

st. james

(:

so last night wasnt exactly as planned. headed home slept on the freezing cold bus. well yupp.

JUD GOT ME A NERDS STICK!!! (:
if i was that photo crazy i would have snagged a picture of it and posted it up. pity i'm stuck with my pathetic camera which i refuse to use cuz i hate the results of it. so sorry! no pics!

yeah.. st.james power house iz one frigging place to go for free drinks on ladies night. haha! 5 free drinks per lady and i drank more than half of it. i tink that bartender got pissed with me asking him so many questions :D in the end he showed me the menu and said "BASICALLY you can mix this with any of that and blahblahblah" so now i know (: vodka cranberry iz way sweet, vodka lime tastes more like lime but tequilla cranberry has that lovely tinge i like (:

took half day this morning,
was suppose to go for training but i slept through it.
pig.
emo-fied i didnt go for training.
how am i gonna do xphysique being so unfit? i'm sorry allen!! if you ever read this, i'm gonna pull this team and it's chances to win down like crazy!! ah! ):

*throbs @17:01
0 <3

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

(: new skin!

oh yay! (:

after so long after contemplating of changing my skin (: i've finally changed my skin and to a one-page profile (: hope this one would work fine and last very very very long. haha x)

okay i know you cant see the first few words.. but sigh! it's the best i can make it! (:

and i wanted to put quotes on the extreme left of this page to fill up the empty white space. but i cant seem to do it.. so yeah.. quote's stuck below my name. small squeezed space (:

bah! well as serene says, always look to the sunshine! :D or erm smth like that.. haha x) well! (: sun's up bright.. not literally cuz of the rain.. but hey, thank jon! you give me hope!! well maybe not exactly hope but more to knowing that dreams can still be dreamt! (: that's a really good hope.

sighhhh (:

THE WORLD IZ BRIGHT AND BEAUTIFUL!!!!

*throbs @12:57
0 <3

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

choices

Right now you are one choice away from a new beginning - one that leads you toward becoming the fullest human being you can be.
—Oprah Winfrey

In every moment we get to choose. We get to choose whether to move forward or stand still; whether to speak out in anger or reach out in peace; whether to hold tight to misery or to let our pain go; whether to give our love or express our hatred. These are not choices made for us, but choices we consciously or unconsciously make minute by minute, day by day. And it is by choices such as these that we form our lives.

May you always recognize your power of choice.

-----------------------------------------

choices.
we.
make.
today.
determine.
our.
destiny.

God will make a way when there seems to be no way!

*throbs @08:48
0 <3

Monday, March 10, 2008

dreamy

Natalia iz in a dilemma of thoughts and feelings and emotions. maybe reading too many novels really kinda screws up the brain. bleh :p like little mini cute sandcastles building up in the air (: awww.. sigh. i just love trilogies (: dreamy
somehow this girl juz cant help it but keep wanting to grow up and older, get married and have her own family. one that she can really consider her own, her pride and joy. i feel like Laura. finding the dream that was pushed aside for one not so perfect. wild love. pure fantasy.

happiness iz still yours to control at the end of the day.

so i’ve brooded over the issue for half a day.. forcing myself back into reality with splitting headaches for TWO frigging days.. explored the little and few choices i have left. guess it’s more of confusion for choices and less of being spoilt for choice. bleh. seriously of all things to fail, it’s GP. IELTS doesn’t help much either cuz the local unis dun accept it. or at least it’s juz not recognized as a proper english paper? yeah. went to the australian fair as well.. kinda juz met the criteria for my desired course in most of the universities. not sure if it’s a good thing to be able to get in or a bad thing that it’s barely scrapping past the cut off score. lots to think about, lots of choices to be made…

if God puts you to it, He will being you through it. trust and pray.
little in my hands becomes alot in the Master’s Hands.

sorry for the emo post. cant help it.. work isnt exciting and nah i’m tired at my desk. ):
i feel like sleeping yet i need to train,
i feel like drowning myself but i know i cant.

OH WELL!

*throbs @16:09
0 <3

Saturday, March 08, 2008

fragile

fragile.

feels very fragile. vulnerable. uncertain. disappointment. guilt. upsetting. i guess it's all the words you can chug and tink of in the dictionary.

i dunno wad caused it. i juz know that tugging at my heart was strong when disappointment kinda set in. it's like not living up to expectations? well yeah i presume.

it's always not good enough. not knowing that perfection iz unattainable in the first place.

guess that's it for now.
it's what i have and what i'll make do with.
head throbbing hard, crying sure does cause one as much as a hangover would. not that i'm having a hangover and even if i had one it's one over ice cream.

well, guess it's that sudden desire to want to feel protected all over again.

thanks guys for all the encouragements and concern.
i'm fine.
gonna be exploring my choices now i suppose.

*throbs @00:45
0 <3

Friday, March 07, 2008

wahaha!

okay today's D-day. like in about 6hours time. sigh! feeling kinda jittery now actually. nerves and all.. i really dun wanna take back my results ):

aside that. well been really busy at work lately. well thanks to the slack days and weeks before, my boss lent me over to the catering manager to help her type the menuS into the new system. well i thought it's only typing.. how bad could it get? but guess wad. it turned out i have been typing that thing for the third day running today and it has yet to be completed. haha!! how can ONE menu have over 40+ items?! the max i've reached iz 71. WOAH. now that really iz variety. spoilt for choice :D so i can only say my little bent pink on my right hand seems to be bending a little more with the constant pressing of the Shift key and because of the excessive typing, i dropped my rice bowl while eating yesterday. beat that. :D

anyways.. been trying to kinda get my mind off results recently la. so sunday was a happening day with lots of sightings and happenings, monday had DG, tuesday i wanted to go jogging at night but i ended up dozing off on my bed, and so the same happened last night. i fell asleep and woke up in the middle of the night. ha ha. so this week i haven gone for my exercise. lazy fat bum. :p

well,
1st March : HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARVIN
2nd March : HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARIANNE
5th March : HAPPY BIRTHDAY EDMUND
6th March : HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAPA, WEN HAO AND CHENGJUN
7th March : HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZHIYONG
8th March : HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVID

that's alot of birthdays this start of the month.

so wednesday was a little destressing i suppose. had dinner with jud and arvin at great world city. pictures are up on jud's blog. damn cool. love the orange lambroghini (: i tink jud has more updates so yeah..! find out more over on her blog. but anyways.. back to my point.. after sending jud home.. arvin went crazy!!! :D haha! he asked me to control the steering wheel of his car while he took off his jacket o.O haha! okay.. considering how i drove for the first time at the arcade daytona i tink i already cannot make it. wad more a real caR?!?!?!!! den next was the gear shift thingy. aha. funny.
arvin: gear1!
nat panics
arvin: 2!
nat panics again
arvin: 3!
nat: oops ahhh! i tink i got 5!!
dots.! haha but it was fun. cheap thrill i'd say. wahahaha! aye thanks for the night out guys! (:

well i dunno wad else to say!!!! already! and so i thought i've got alot of things to say. sigh! i dunno la! ):< argh! thanks to all those who requested to know results! like concerned. i hope i bring good news and not bad. sigh. okok i shall go back to typing.

ignore me!

*throbs @08:52
0 <3

Monday, March 03, 2008

vertical marathon

yesterday,

i saw a dream.

:D

standing before a castle like house.. awww! thanks arvin for the ride to see pretty houses! x) if you watched PnP, the house iz somewhat like that.. big with those kind of pretty stairways and all.. sigh (: it's way huge and really pretty to be staying in there.. but maybe juz a little too big :p

anyways. did that vertical marathon yesterday. rainy days are sleeping days. sigh! ): kinda disappointed with myself.. climbing 60 floors in like 16min++. that's seriously slower than average. ): i couldnt even see jud or the guys who like completed it like maybe 5mins before me? around there. boo. i seriously have no idea why i'd want to pay to actually torture myself to climb stairs ):< and i still cant believe i actually did ): oh well! first and probably last time. going round and round in that stuffy stairwell. the experience was felt. amen.

so after marathon jud and i hung out. arvin joined us shortly after and done no more blues! (: like did random and spontaneous stuff. bought donuts, going to mos burger, walked around discovering cool stuff, den heading to cine dinnered, walked around and we even went to watch movie. haha x) well jud had finally watched jumper and so have i. it's a cool show (: very nice. worth the watch! maybe i should start changing my movie genres to thrillers (: wahaha. den after we went on a joy ride to random places to see nice houses (:

you know smth.. i like to dream. dream about everything and anything and all iz good. happy and nope no nothing bad. (: it's a pity reality doesnt permit such but you know, it's always hope.

[Eph3:20]
Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us,

it's always good to dream big! (:

.edit.
omg! how time-ly! (: maybe that's why i still love heartfelt blessings the most! (:

"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. "
—Dr. Seuss

Too few of us are willing to indulge in fantasy, Natalia. We've been told that fantasizing is lazy and childish and has no place in the real world, and so when impossible dreams knock at the door of our thinking, we tend to dismiss them quickly, telling ourselves we must act like grownups.

Once upon a time, however, a fellow named Disney gave apt attention to a small fantasy about a little mouse until he ended up building it into a multi-million dollar amusement park that is still, today, internationally known. There really is no telling what we can come up with when we combine energy, love and enthusiasm with the seeming impossible fantasies we dare entertain. The one thing we should never underestimate, as we look at the world of fantasy around us today, is the amazing power of the imagination.

May you always be willing to dream the impossible dream.

*throbs @09:27
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